Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The One About Silent Joy [March 2008]

I think one of the nicest possible things about having a baby is beginning to see the world through fresh eyes again.  Mostly we just take the world for granted, but every now and then we learn to learn again; to see things as though for the first time; so we fully appreciate the experience.  Do you remember the first time you tried avocado – the colour (unusual for a food), the texture (unusual for something you willingly put in your mouth).  Do you remember seeing your first rainbow; the first time you saw (or smelled) an elephant; your first kiss; the first time that special someone told you they loved you.

That’s what it’s like for me at the moment.  I get down on the floor with the nine month old Blonde Bombshell and look up at the world.  Wow, the ceilings are high.  There’s a dried biscuit and half a dozen dusty sultanas stuck on the bottom of the couch, and gosh the dust balls are big.

I stand in the backyard and just listen: birds, the rumble of trucks and cars, wind chimes, the dog next door barking, trains, a rumbling tummy.  Hmmm is that mine or the baby’s?  So much can be heard when you stop and listen for it.  The Bombshell heard some thunder the other day and I benefitted from an extra-snuggly hug as she decided whether or not the noise could hurt her.

Standing in the shower, the baby in my arms, she keeps reaching out to grab the water – but can’t.  Try explaining that one!  You can see it, you can feel it, so why can’t you grab it?  The look on her face – surprise, frustration, amusement, determination – a total reward for wasting precious water.

There is so much joy in my heart.  But it’s a silent joy.  Recently, The Bombshell lost one of her precious great-grandmothers, a very special woman whose absence now leaves a large hole in many hearts.  But the fact that she got to meet her, spend time, get cuddles and kisses and photos, makes me very happy.  My own beautiful Mum didn’t have any grandparents growing up.  I was lucky enough to have three wonderful grandparents in my life.  My daughter is relishing in four grandparents, and she still has three great-grandparents left to love her (plus all her aunties and uncles).  Such a strong, loving family makes her the richest girl in the world.

She is extraordinarily lucky and she has so much ahead of her.  I can’t wait for her to try ice-cream for the first time, blow candles out on her birthday cake, ride a bike, see snow, go swimming in the ocean, build a sand castle, get licked by a puppy, stand in the rain while the sun is still shining, read her first book.  And what makes it even more special is that I will get to experience this for the first time again as well.  And I cannot wait!.

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