Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Note To My 16 Year Old Self - If I Was Actually My Five Year Old Daughter

It's been school holidays for 8 days, 6 hours and 35 minutes, not that I am keeping track or anything.

On the one hand it has been a relaxing week in that I have not had to rush off to pre-primary every morning. I have also been able to spend some quality time with the Blonde Bombshell.

On the other hand, I have had to spend a great quantity of time with the Blonde Bombshell.

The Bombshell looks nothing like me.  She is tall and slim, energetic and athletic, with long straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes.  I'm more on the pudgy, slothful side of things, with (artificial) red hair, brown eyes and no desire whatsoever to hang upside down on the monkey bars.

She looks so different to me that I began to wonder whether she was actually my child.

But yes... turns out she is.

She is a walking, talking, back-chatting, sulking, highly emotional, miniature version of me. It's uncanny and very disturbing.

My friend Helen says that it is like 'holding up a mirror to ourselves, and not liking what we see.'

So true.

The thing is, the Bombshell's constant complaint these school holidays is that I 'don't understand her'. With her eyes rolling, and her hair flicking, she flounces around with her hand to her head that I am so unfair, and how could I possibly understand.

Kid, I understand you so well it's freaky.  You're a mini-me.

You're bright but you're lazy, and you scoot along on previous success knowing that you'll get there without trying too hard, but it means you never do your best. It also means you are shocked when you fail at something.

You want everyone to know how bright you are, so you throw your pencil down when you finish your work, so everyone knows you're first [sorry Larissa, I know you hated this about me in Year 6].

You are generally very thoughtful and kind, but you hate it when everyone takes advantage of you, so every now and then you blow a gasket and become a selfish witch, and stop communicating with the world.

You are quick to scream and yell and bitch - but only to the few people you truly love and trust. For everyone else you are well behaved and silent. You won't speak your mind. It means you will grow up to be lousy at confrontation.

You like things to be just so.  Some times that means being so particular it borders on OCD. You expect others to be just the same as you, you expect them to know 'the rules', and when they don't, you tend to lose it.

You live in another world, a made-up world.  You write and draw and sing and create.  You are constantly creating. Sometimes it is a fine line between imagination and delusion.

You love to give. You can be very generous. You also love to receive#.

*  *  *

I foresee great battles being fought between the Bombshell and myself when she is older, we will butt heads in a fiery and brutal way. 

Yet I also foresee that she will be my best friend, once she realises that I do, in fact, totally and utterly understand her.

#It's my birthday in a month!

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