Tuesday, October 1, 2013

How To Get Rid of an Unwanted Wobbly Tooth

Kids who have wobbly teeth are pretty cute, right? Big gaps in their smiles. Complete inability to eat apples, hilarious, right?

Except in my house, this is what I have had to look at for the past few weeks.

The worst, most disgusting, sticky-out, redneck, beer-bottle opening snaggle tooth. Ever.

There was nothing cute about this tooth.

The 4th wobbly tooth belonging to the Bombshell began in the normal way, but every day it began to stick out more and more, until it was perpendicular to the gum. It would stick out between her lips. She would chew on it.
Strangers would grimace and stare when they saw it. It was freakily unnatural.

She looked like she belonged to Cletus the slack-jawed yokel. You know the one.
'Y'all get that damn tooth out now, hear...'
[image Simpson wiki]
It was very distracting and – and between you and me – I offered to add $5 to whatever the Tooth Fairy was going to give her if she could wobble it out before Show Day (tomorrow).

For a week I reminded her to wobble it, waving the idea of $5 in front of her. I’m not proud, but I was desperate.

She tried, she did. She would wobble with her tongue. She would wobble it with her finger. She would gross out every adult who made the mistake of asking to see.


I considered doubling my offer to $10.

As I resigned myself to the freak-tooth staying forever, a miracle happened.

Baldy intervened in the only way she could. She kicked the Bombshell square in the face coming down the slide.
Blood went everywhere.

The tooth was out.

It was the best five bucks I have ever spent.
Love your work Baldy...

1 comment:

  1. We've had a tooth come out like that also. My big girl seems to have teeth that hang in there forever by just one little bit of gum, and one time her sister belted her in the face (by accident I'm told) and the tooth finally popped out after about 2 months of wiggling.


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