I can’t even recall how the conversation started.
I think she had been complaining about her
youngest sister, upset that the little one got to sleep with her Dad by simply crawling into bed with him. The truth being, she
was sometimes afraid of being on her own, and was jealous of her youngest
sister.
She couldn’t understand why her four year old sister had everything
she needed while she, at nine and a half, still had to battle to get noticed
across the noise.
I tried to explain:
“You are all different people and you will succeed in the
world differently,” I said.
“Your youngest sister walks into a room and immediately fills
it. She is bright and bubbly and is happy pushing herself forward into
situations other people would feel scared about. It is as though she fills the
room with little explosions of glitter and noise and song and people can’t help
but notice. They draw energy from her but it can be wild and unsettling for
some. Some people back away from her or are put off by her energy, but
underneath it all, she has a heart of gold and has a caring soul. It’s just
that it comes wrapped in a Mardi Gras. She will impact a lot of people,
especially those who are drawn to her energy and vitality.”
She nodded, silent.
“Your middle sister, on the other hand is less obvious and
people underestimate her. You have to scratch beneath the surface to see her true
value – in other words, you need to take time and make effort. The way she will
impact the world is neither immediate nor obvious, but for those who persist,
she will be immensely powerful and influential.’
I stroked the hair off her forehead. It was late, well past
both our bedtimes, but I could see she was needing to talk, to make sense of
her day.
“You, on the other hand, carry your golden heart in your
hands, offered in front on you. You will enter the room and be silent. You won’t
draw attention to yourself, you will simply hold your heart up in front of you.
Many people won’t notice you or see you. But there will be special people who
feel you, who can sense you through the crowded room and be drawn to you. You
will make a powerful connection to the world, especially through these special people
who are like you, and notice you and seek you out.”
It was at this point that I noticed the tears slipping down
her cheek. She simply nodded quickly, as if by agreeing with what I said, would
make it come true.
In a room full of people, my eldest can be the last one
noticed. Her middle sister is also quiet and often unseen – the difference
being that my middle doesn’t mind and she prefers her own company.
When you want to be noticed, and aren’t, that is when it
begins to hurt.
“I have no doubt that you will all be incredibly successful
in your lives,” I continued. “It’s just that you have such different ways of
interacting with the world. So don’t judge yourself by your sisters’ benchmarks
and by what – and how – they achieve things.”
“You are totally unique and so your impact will be felt
differently, but I have no doubt it will be incredible.”
With a little nod, she smiled. I kissed her on her forehead
and said goodnight. She was invisible no longer.
