Why Exercise, Housework and Childcare Should be Banned

I have long been a crusader against exercise, believing it leads to all sorts of injury and humiliation.

Take my husband for example, in the course of exercise he has sustained a stress fracture during a gym class (which he finished before going to get an x-ray, typical male).

He's come off his bike, tearing his arms down to the bone, and had the worst case of blisters known to mankind after the City to Surf.

Disgusting.

Clearly, sport and exercise are bad for you.

Now I am going to add housework to the list of things that must be stopped in the interest of personal safety.

Yesterday I broke my toe while putting the washing away. I walked into a door frame. Three toes went one way, two went the other.

I heard it snap. It was surprisingly loud.

It bloody hurts but you can't do anything except take prophylactic wine and sit down and watch ANTM.

I may also add childcare to my list of dangerous occupations.

To add insult to injury (literally), this morning the baby threw a book at me from her change table, and it landed squarely on my newly broken toe.

It's highly likely her next new word is going to start with an 'F'.