The Worst Parents in the World

It was a game of parental one-upmanship, the one where we try and outdo each other with how crazy the kids have been. Except we can play this game with the antics of just with one child: Number Three, Baldy.

My husband started: she threw the rice-bubbles everywhere. They were on the wall. I even found them in my shoes!

I followed with: she was climbing on the chairs at the dentist. She tried to climb up the vertical blinds.

Him: She ate food out of the bin.

Me: She insisted on having her teeth checked by the dentist like her sisters, but then she just stuck her tongue out.

Him: She belted the Mop in the face and was trying to ride the Bombshell like a horse.

Me: I found her sucking water out of a face-washer she had dipped in the toilet.

Him: She was sitting on the top of the toilet. Not the seat – the cistern!

We both looked over to the toilet, visualising the 18 month old sitting on top, merrily swinging her legs, smiling cunningly.

We must be such bad parents.

And to prove the point, I found Baldy 'cleaning' the toilet, and took the photo for posterity
before taking the toilet brush off her